So people talk about resilience all the time these days. It seems to be the buzz word of the time. ‘She was so resilient’, or ‘You just need to be more resilient'. But what on earth does it all mean? As carers aren’t we just naturally resilient, otherwise wouldn't we have given up by now?
Carers UK’s report State of Caring 2019, said that 81% of carers felt lonely or isolated and 90% feel their practical support might be reduced in the future. With this high level of loneliness and isolation and a huge worry that the little support they already have will go, how do we bounce back each day? Because we have no choice!
At ‘Not A Care in the World’ resilience training we don’t believe there is just one training workshop that will make you resilient. We created 18 different trainings to suit the varying needs and wants of the different carer groups that exist. Some want to build support networks whilst other need to take time out. Some want to meditate and breath whilst others need to speak their truth and get others on board. And some just want to have a bloody good laugh! All of these are fantastic ways to build resilience.
At Psych Central (www.psychcentral.com) they list 5 factors that help people to increase their resilience. They are:
1. Having a positive view of yourself (self-image) and confidence in your strengths and abilities (self-knowledge).
It’s super important as carers that we increase our self worth and don’t let the loss of your life and identity grind you down. We can still find moments to reconnect with who we are and what we want for our own lives too. Even if this is just for an hour a week. That hour is ‘me’ time and needs to be just as protected as a doctors appointment is for your loved one. If this ‘me’ time is a creative or leisure pursuit then this will give you clear evidence that you are able to achieve and your life is valuable and worth carrying on with.
2. Being able to regularly make realistic plans, and then being able to regularly carry out your plans.
We must create action plans for our lives. If plan A fails, there’s plan B. When that fails, plan C comes along and so on. We must take stock, reflect, draw perspective, go for a walk, sleep on it, re-assess and find another way. There is always another way.
3. Being able to effectively and in a healthy manner manage your feelings and impulses.
We must all take time out to breathe, to reflect on our feelings and thoughts. Are we in reactive mode and not taking time to think through what you will say or what you want to happen? Are you stuck in behaviours and patterning from past negative experiences that you might not have even contemplated before? Spend time getting to know yourself, where you’ve been and how you want to relate to others in the future.
4. Having really good communication skills (or you’re actively working to improve them).
People do not realise that clean and clear communication is the only way to affect real change and to bring people on board. This is very true for professionals who often take over meetings and appointments and leave you bewildered. Brush up on your communication skills, make sure your ‘no’ means ‘no’ and use language that is curious, goal orientated and without generalisations. You have more influence than you think.
5. Having really good problem solving skills (or you’re actively working to improve them).
Don’t say ‘if’ but ‘when.’ If an obstacle looks insurmountable then break it down and take it piece by piece. Before you know it, you will have a lot of pieces stacked on top of each other. Bring other people on board to share the caring load or task them with jobs to assist you as no carer should be an island.
Bounce back and fight another day. You’ve got this!
Not A Care in the World Resilience Training
At Not A Care in the World resilience training we know first hand what it takes to be the super human that carers need to be. If you are a carers organisation and are interested in knowing more about our work in communication skills for carers but also in our work on unlocking creativity, building confidence and also practising self care techniques then please do get in touch. Our workshops can now all be adapted for online working meaning we can work with any carers organisation throughout the world! Our workshops are dynamic, interactive, fun, creative and empowering and are facilitated by trainers trained in communication skills, NLP, psychotherapy, breath work and theatre.